Do Right Woman, Do Wrong Woman

“You fell asleep chewing,” JP said. The reproach in his voice was evident.

“Arrrrrgghhhhhh!” I screamed into my pillow and kicked my feet. “Ta-monster!”

“You kept asking,” he giggled, “how I was going to develop my menu.”

I curled up like a slug that had been sprinkled with salt and retreated further into my covers.

I’d had, to put it politely, one too many. As the realization dawned on me, I prayed that this wouldn’t turn into one of the seven deadly hangovers.

The problem, as I saw it, was my friends. Tamami (the scorpion), Sugita and Vivi were notorious for their super-human drinking powers. To make matters worse, we were going to Gilio, and Chef-san is no teetotaler. I’d met the crew for lunch at 12:30. Six bottles of wine and a few glasses of grappa later, I somehow managed to stumble home.

“Oh, god,” I slurred, reaching for my water, “I have to pick up trash tomorrow.”

Just my luck to wind up in such a state the day before the Fujisawa Beach Cleanup.


My friend Alana had told me about the event earlier this summer, and it was all for a very good cause. She and her husband Michel are the founders of Soleil Provence, a French language and cultural center on the beach in Kugenuma. Working with the Japan Environmental Action Network, they had decided to host an event inspired by International Coast Day that would raise awareness about marine debris. The volunteers would comb the beach for garbage, which would then be sorted and counted. The purpose of the project is to collect data that will go toward an assessment of coastal debris across the globe. Their first fundraiser in July was a big success, and they plan to do it again every year, twice a year.

I wanted to do good, I really did. But part of me was hoping for a typhoon.

On Sunday morning, the sun was shining, and the skies were blue. Mercifully, I awoke hangover-free and made my way down to Shonan, where I caught up with my environmentally conscious friend the Shroz. The turnout was great -- over 100 people -- and we took to the beach with gloves and plastic bags.


At first glance, the shore seemed relatively clean. There were few salient items, but a closer look revealed tiny bits of plastic, broken glass and hundreds of cigarette butts. JEAN estimates that 25 percent of the coastal debris in Japan is comprised of cigarette filters. One of the main things they’re trying to monitor for, however, is the presence of industrial plastic. These minuscule particles are virtually indistinguishable from grains of sand, but they're highly toxic.

Although we were only out there for 30 minutes, we collected enough trash to cover a small blue tarp. According to JEAN’s calculations, that amounts to roughly 42 kg of trash.


They say that a good deed is its own reward, but Soleil Provence went a step further and set out a fantastic spread of goodies for all of the volunteers -- goats cheese-stuffed pastries, sweet onion tartlets, olives and croissants. To sweeten the deal even more, Vranken Japan generously brought bottles of bubbly, along with some very drinkable Pink Flamingo rose and red.


There’s no better way to spend a sunny afternoon than nibbling away at meat pies filled with lomo and sipping a cool glass of Heidseick-Monopole Rose Champagne. This rose is always delicious -- a playful berry-laden number with citrusy crispness -- and it tasted even better after a morning of civic duty. I'd been bad, it's true, but in the end I did pretty good.